Period Sex.

It's been a while since I've been with anyone who wanted to have sex while I was on the rag. Roseboy is more than willing, and that's fun.

Now, I know I have mentioned The Keeper before, but not gone into much detail. A detailed post about it is to follow, I promise, but a quick note about it is this: with the Keeper, you can receive oral sex on your period. Yup. Believe it. The Keeper contains your menstrual fluid safe and sound in a rubber/silicone cup that suctions around your cervix, high up in your vagina. What's especially great about it is that it leaves the walls of your vagina clean, and unlike tampons, doesn't absorb your normal vaginal fluids along with the menstrual ones. Therefore, with the Keeper in, you can still get wet when you're aroused, and those fluids stay separate from your period blood. When your partner licks you- all they taste is your sex juices.

So yeah. Anyways, even though I could have pushed for oral, I decided I'd ease him into the period stuff, and took out my Keeper so we could have regular sex. (You can't have intercourse with it in.) We layed down towels, and then I got an idea.

Since we weren't going to have oral, why not get things nice and lubed up? I broke out some Pjur Eros, a really nice silicone lube, and my Black Dragon latex gloves. Now, I know some of you might not get the point of gloves, but hopefully this post will illuminate that for you. And Black Dragons make the latex glove things super sexy, since they are perfectly fitted, textured, and jet black - made specifically for sex. If you can't see the sex appeal with gloves, just think of that scene in Fight Club where Brad is fucking Helena Bonham Carter wearing nothing but big, yellow dishwashing gloves. Mmm.

Anyway, the glove thing led to some unexpected but incredibly exciting activity. We started out with a lubed genital massage, but since our hands were protected from anything potentially "icky" they started to wander to new and previously undiscovered territory.

We had briefly discussed the anus before, and I expressed some curiosity. He seemed to have no inhibitions about it as he felt around and began to probe me. I followed suit on him. This was exciting, and very new for me.

I had read some books about anal play, but never tried it. The books gave me the impression that anal play was a lot more complicated than it proved to be. I thought I would have to be relaxed to the point of pudding in order to allow a finger in, and that it would take some serious concentration to get to that point. Not so, my friends. With a little Eros, I was enjoying all the benefits of being finger fucked in the ass in no time! He told me later he was only getting up to his second knuckle, but it certainly felt like a deep penetration. Because I was at a bad angle, I didn't get too deep into him, maybe just my fingertip, but I was also afraid to hurt him.

And then he fucked me. He fucked me with his dick thrusting in and out of my vag, and his finger thrusting in and out of my ass. My finger was in his ass as he fucked me. Double penetration was something wonderful I never expected. "I can feel my finger with my dick!" He exclaimed.

I don't know what it is, but I love the idea of being penetrated so completely- every hole, so much so that no matter where I move, I can't escape. This is partly why I love being eaten out and finger fucked at the same time- and why it makes me come every single time. No matter where I wriggle, I can't break free from the sensations forced upon me at every spot at once. Obviously my next step needs to be getting eaten out with a side of SHOCKER.

Anywhoo, it was amazing sex. And, as always, he collapsed his sweaty head on my chest and let me hold him. And all we had to do was rip the gloves off, and we were clean and cuddle ready. We still had silicone lube all over us though, which doesn't reabsorb into your body, so I pulled him into my shower.

I sometimes think back to around February of this year, when I was dating Mr. Abstinent Conservative, and wonder how the hell I managed.

Home Free

I come running into the room to find him sitting on my bed. I jump up, straddling him, and take his face in my hands and kiss him hard.

"I'm so happy!" I say, as he diligently lifts off my shirt.

"Why's that?"

"I got my period!!!"

And five minutes later he was shirtless too and we were rolling around the bed, kissing all of our favorite places.

I suddenly look up. "Whew."

"You were really worried weren't you?" I nod.

"What would you have done?" We're both laying on our backs, side by side.

And after some time, "I would have an abortion. But I'd be really really upset about it."


(In other news, I forgot how much worse periods are when you're off birth control! There's so much more blood! I'm actually getting stains on clothing! This hasn't happened in years! Like I said before, I am never going off birth control again!)

(Oh, and don't worry, I have lots and lots of naughty things to tell you when I have the time.)

Anxious

This week I have felt very anxious. It started that night I mentioned a couple posts ago when I just lost control of my emotions and let the boy see a little more crazy than I had planned. Things went basically back to normal after that, except not completely. I've still felt very anxious all week.

For almost two weeks now, my nipples have been extremely sensitive, if not in pain. They are feeling a little better now, but I have to admit it freaked me out.

Speaking of freaking out... I was supposed to get my period on Wednesday. I started wearing my Keeper that day, so I'd be prepared when it came, and then checked it that night, the next night, the next... nothing.

I've been off my birth control this month. I use the Nuva Ring, which I love, but every now and again I lose track of time and forget to take it out after 3 weeks. Then I get like a 48 day cycle instead of 28 and that can't be good for your body. So... after fucking up my cycle like 3 times in a row, I decided to go off it for a month to let my body "reset." Then I met RoseBoy.

We used a condom every time. No breakage, no accidents.

But a late period plus nipple soreness is bound to leave a girl suspicious. Today I ran some errands with my dad and he asked if I needed anything at Walgreens. "Oh yeah, I need to pick up some shampoo, some nail polish remover, and a home pregnancy test. Will you be paying Dad?" Yeah right.

I am not freaking out just yet. I have been getting cramps this week, especially today, which I think is more likely to be a sign of a period rather than a pregnancy. I used to get horrible cramps before I went on birth control- hell that's why I even started taking it in the first place! (That, and the fact that I wanted to lose my virginity.) Cramps at this point in a pregnancy is more likely to spell "miscarriage" than "baby shower," anyway.

Please, oh please, let me bleed out this anxiety tomorrow! There's nothing like an abortion to keep a 3 week old relationship together. Or, on the way less likely hand, there's nothing like a new baby to force a guy you just met to stay in your life forever. Oh, and I guess I wouldn't be going to grad school either.

And trust me when I saw I will NEVER go off my birth control ever again. Ever.

Hey hormones! You suck!

Things continue to be on the up-and-up with Roseboy. The other night we had one of those amazing nights where we talked about our feelings, and got to admit how much we like each other.

Most of our statements were prefaced by the phrases: "I don't want you to think I'm a freak, but..." or "I'm probably going to scare you away, but..." It's funny to think that nowadays it makes you a freak to admit you would like a serious relationship, or it could scare someone away that you actually really like them. In the end, he said, jokingly, "Would you wanna be my few-week girlfriend?" I said, "Yeah. I wanna be your girlfriend."

So... I guess here are the stats as they now stand.

V, age 21 years.

• 2 serious boyfriends to date, 1 semi-serious, and 1 current something
  
• Lost virginity to one of them at age 19
  
• Had sex with 8 people in 2 years (Started this blog at 4 people)
  
• 5 out of 8 were one night stands, 1 out of 8 was an ongoing hookup, 2 involved feelings
• Have been involved in some way with: white Protestant guys, Irish Catholic guy, Italian guy, black guy, Moroccan guys, Spanish guys, Chinese guy, Jewish guy. (I enjoy collecting ethnicities.)
• Haven't felt this way about a person since: High School (I think...)

I guess when I get into a new relationship, I like to take stock of my history and, well, my dating "status" if you will.

Last night Roseboy and I went on our first real date. We got dinner together at a really neat place (he wanted to pay but I wouldn't let him) and then went to see a total guy-flick chock full of guns and explosions and punching (I let him pay.)

After the movie, he turns and says, "Wow. I really got lucky." I guess not so many girls like bad-ass shoot-em-up movies... but I do. I also like to have sex all the time, to give head, to play DDR naked... just about the only thing that keeps me from being the best girlfriend of all time is that I'm not a sports fan. But neither is he, so it works out.

After the movie, we went back to his place. We both had to get up early, so we budgeted about an hour for a fuck-fest and then I was gonna go home. But neither of those things happened quite right. For some incredible reason.. I wasn't in the mood. And no matter how determined I was to get something done, I just wasn't. And he could tell. And it was embarrassing.

He said all the right things, like "I don't expect anything," and "it's really okay, I like cuddling." But I hate it all the same. I wanted to fuck his brains out- not get all emotional and vulnerable in his arms. I wasn't ready to show him that much crazy just yet. But at the same time, all I wanted in the entire world was for him to hold me and brush back my hair and tell me everything was going to be okay......... when everything WAS ok!

There was absolutely NO REASON to feel that way- the night had been great, and my life is generally pretty flippin' awesome! Yet... I was sad, scared, and vulnerable. I HATE not being in control of my own emotions. It took me between 2 and 3 hours to leave. We did have sex though... really slow, regular, "tender" sex.

I checked the calendar this morning. My period should arrive today or tomorrow.

Fucker.